Discover why your cat might not want a cuddle

Many of us would find a hug a lovely sign of affection from someone we are close to. But this is not necessarily the case for a lot of cats. 

Although some cats do like a cuddle, others prefer their own space. They like to only show us affection on their own terms.

If you do go in for a hug with your cat, it is usually quite easy to tell if they are unhappy with the situation. For example they may hiss or puff up their tail. But there are also some more subtle signs cats use to let us know they are uncomfortable.

It’s important to look out for these signs and leave your cat alone if you spot them. Otherwise it could lead to them becoming stressed. They could also show unwanted behaviours such as spraying or scratching the furniture.

Signs that your cat wants to be left alone 

1. Crouching 

If you approach your cat and they shrink away from you, moving into a crouched position, then this a strong indicator that they want their own space. If they try to run or jump away then you can also be pretty confident that they don’t want physical contact!

2. Avoiding eye contact 

When you pick your cat up for a hug, pay close attention to what they do with their head. Do they actively turn their head away from you and avoid eye contact? This is a sign that they feel uncomfortable and would prefer for you to put them back down.

3. Flicking their tail 

Cats quite often communicate how they’re feeling using their tail. When you approach for a hug, check what their tail is doing first. If it is flicking from side to side, then they are telling you that they are not happy and definitely don’t want a cuddle.

4. Sudden grooming 

One of the most subtle behaviours cats use to show they are not comfortable is suddenly or excessively grooming their fur. If your cat quickly starts cleaning themselves as you approach them, turn around and leave them in peace.

5. Dilated pupils 

It can be difficult to read the facial expressions of cats. They have fewer facial muscles compared to other animals like dogs. One of the clearer facial indicators they use is the size of their pupils, the black area in the centre of their eye. If their pupils are really wide, taking up most of the visible eyeball, then they could be feeling stressed.

6. Ears turned back 

Cats move their ears around quite regularly to listen out for various noises. Especially the food cupboard opening! But there are certain ear positions that can show their mood. If their ears are turned back or to the side for more than a couple of seconds, then you should give them their own space.

Learn more about cat body language.

What can I do instead of hugging my cat? 

Many cats may not appreciate a hug. But there are lots of things you can do to show them you love them without scooping them up for a cuddle.

1. Slow blinking 

Slow blinking in your direction is the ultimate sign that your cat trusts you. If you do it back to them then they’ll know that you trust them too.

2. Let them come to you 

Cats like to be in control and decide when and where they interact with others. Instead of scooping them up and restraining them, let them approach you on their own terms for a stroke or a chin rub.

3. Playtime 

Playing with toys such as fishing rod toys and catnip mice is important for cats. It allows them to express their natural hunting behaviour and releases feel-good hormones in their brains. To create a really special bond with your cat, have lots of short play sessions with them throughout the day. This will also keep them physically and mentally stimulated. Find out more about playing with your cat. 

4. Training

Many people don’t realise that cats can be taught tricks, just like dogs can. Training your cat to do things like respond to their name or sit on command can be a great way for you to bond. They’ll start to associate you with something fun.