In memory of Dougal

On the night of the 28th December Dougal passed suddenly and unexpectedly. He hadn't been showing any signs of illness or distress the evening before and had seemed relaxed and content. At about 430am I heard him letting out a single strange cry and hiss so ran to him and he passed in my arms. I miss you little guy. Very very much. Those times when I came home from a stressful day at work and you'd always run to see me on the bed for grooming and head bumps. That finally you'd settled down enough as you'd aged to come and lie with me on the bed, sleeping on me and even helping me relax. You'd helped me so much through difficult times, always providing some comfort, playful times and a routine we both got into. Even if you weren't the most cuddly and affectionate cat I always knew you loved me as much as a cat could love anyone. I hope you didn't suffer at the end and I hope you realised I was there with you, as I always promised I would be. I had so many songs i'd sing you, so many nicknames and titles. My little foog. You playing on the "dougie step", chasing and fighting your bear endlessly, your love of dreamies and your bedtime snack. Fake chewing, knocking stuff over and just jumping onto me at 4am for the hell of it. And those days when you were a kitten - always sleeping on me, climbing onto my chest and nestling in the crook of my shoulder. I totally fell in love with you. I won't forget you and I wish we'd had some more years together. Your passing seems too sudden, too soon. It was shocking for me but it was your time and there wasn't anything I could do to stop that. I just hope you realised you were loved and respected and cared for. My flat will never be the same again. It was your home and I was just there to look after you. Without you there I will now need to find a new way to imagine my space, my home. I believe the memory of you will help with that. Love you, as much as a human loved a cat, from the big strange hairy cat colony member who made too much noise and sometimes teased you. xx

by Andrew Spooner